Jorge Chapa

CheatNeutral: Offsetting Your Cheating Ways

by , 01/04/08

If carbon offsetting just isn’t personal enough for you, here’s a cheeky option to erase any negative effects of your “romantic” footprint. If you God forbid find yourself cheating on your loved one, you can now offset that cheating through CheatNeutral, an infidelity offseting service. Thanks to them, all your potential transgressions will be offset and your relationship fine once again.

Just how does it work? If you ever feel the need to pollute your relationship, simply go to CheatNeutral and, by paying for their monogamy-boosting offset projects, get a certificate from them stating that you have offset my cheating. Were your partner to find out about the infidelities, well then by showing her your certificate, he/she would understand that you have offset all the infidelities and you can save yourself from emitting bad feelings to each other, thus saving the relationship.

Now some of you may be wondering if truly this system is the best way to save a relationship. Wouldn’t a better way have been not to have cheated in the first place? Nonsense, say CheatNeutral! Their adultery offseting programs is certified and proven, by CheatNeutral, to reduce cheating worldwide. And before you ask, a cheating offset does not increase cheating in this world, as in order for you to cheat, you must pay someone not to cheat, making it all right to do so.

As always, we here at Inhabitat encourage you to stay informed. Cheating is an activity which may cause harm on your life and the lives of others, so we’d strongly recommend that you avoid it at all costs. However, if you must, CheatNeutral can give you an option to save your living environment. Take a look around their website, in particular their about page for important information about their program. I mean surely if it works with carbon offsets this can work as well, right? Right?

+CheatNeutral

cheatneutral, carbon offsets, energy, trading, offset, pollution, emissions, parody

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5 Comments

  1. Kat January 8, 2008 at 5:07 am

    well, i certrainly wouldn’t mind planting a tree with those two cheeky blokes.

  2. Sue January 5, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Very funny! What I want to know is….does Al Gore belong? And in which category?

  3. Aron Rubin January 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    Step 2.

    Step 3. Make Money

  4. Nick Simpson January 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    Hahaha, very clever… I like stuff like this, by making people laugh it stops environmentalism a lot less boring and “goody goody”

  5. Mark Bartosik January 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    Absolutely hysterical !
    I’m going to sign up for dig it, just to dig this!

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