The scariest time of year is almost upon us and the pressure to come up with yet another frightening Halloween costume is mounting. While most people are shopping for vampire, demon, and zombie fright-masks, environmentalists know that the most terrifying thing on Earth doesn’t come in the shape of a mystical evil creature – not when we have countless bone-chilling environmental crises on our doorstep. Try one of our 7 eco-themed Halloween costumes if you really want to send the kiddies screaming from your door.
1. Skinny Polar Bear
When a photo of a particularly gaunt polar bear surfaced this fall, the skinny bear became a poster child for melting polar ice. For environmentally concerned Hollywood starlets or people who want to show off their Beach Body, the skinny polar bear costume is sexy and serious all at once. Just dress in skimpy white clothes that reveal your jutting ribs and wear an adorable polar bear mask. Spending all of Halloween night going door-to-door begging for seal meat instead of candy will really drive your point home.
2. The Man Who Shot Cecil the Lion
It really wasn’t a great year for American dentist Walter Palmer, who shot Cecil the Lion with a crossbow, leaving the majestic creature to suffer for 40 hours before hunters finally finished him off with a rifle. Palmer, a habitual game hunter, suddenly discovered what it feels like to be the hunted, drawing a volley of universal outrage over the killing. To dress as this evil villain, all you need is a white dentist’s coat, a pair of designer glasses and a bald cap. Carry a stuffed lion toy with an arrow through its heart and a generous splashing of ketchup to remind everyone of Cecil’s violent death.
In our pesticide-ridden world, bees continue to die in droves, no matter what we do to try and save them. What could be more terrifying than a swarm of zombees, returning to pay us back? For this eco-themed Halloween costume, you’ll need a yellow and black striped top, black pants or a frilly black skirt and a set of rounded gossamer wings. Add some bad-ass zombie makeup to complete the ultimate zombee look.
4. The Wet Prince of Bel Air
While California suffers through its worst drought of all time, giving the rest of us a glimpse into our own near future, the most terrifying aspect of the crisis is that certain people don’t seem to care. Earlier this year, aerial photos showed that celebs like Kim Kardashian were merrily ignoring watering restrictions on their multi-million dollar estates. And now, an even bigger villain, in the shape of the mysterious Wet Prince of Bel Air has been found to be using 12 million gallons of water per year in his or her Bel Air home.
To pull this costume off, you’ll need an ultra-baggy striped t-shirt and a bright baseball cap with the brim flipped up. Accessorize with a garden hose, sprinklers, a decorative fountain and any other water-wasting items you can carry. Finally, wear a mask to protect your identity and you will embody the evil and mysterious billionaire Bel Air resident who doesn’t give a damn about drought.
5. Costa Rica Sea Turtle Tourist
When tourists flooded the Costa Rica beach where sea turtles were attempting to complete their annual egg-laying migration this year, the world responded with disgust. A viral photo showing one women striking a pose among the sea turtles flew around the internet faster than Superman saving Lois Lane. She became the face of irresponsible tourism and her striking attire makes her the ideal costume for the environmentalist who doesn’t want to sacrifice “sexy” to make a green point. All you need is a red tube top and impossibly short cut-off jeans. Accessorize with an Audrey Hepburn headscarf and movie-star sunglasses. Make sure to carry your iPhone 6 and a stuffed sea turtle so you can snap sea turtle selfies all night long.
6. Pope Francis
After acknowledging our growing environmental crisis and encouraging all humans to act now to save our planet, Pope Francis might be the year’s biggest environmental hero. “It seems clear to me that climate change is a problem which can no longer be left to a future generation,” he said on a recent trip to the US. If you want to dress up as one of the good guys, you’ll require a long white robe, a small white skull cap, and the biggest silver cross you can find. Just be warned, you might terrify some friends and draw reverence from others, depending on their point of view.
7. Elon Musk
As the guy who made electric cars cool, Tesla’s Elon Musk makes a great subject for an eco-themed Halloween costume. All you need is a plain black t-shirt, dark blue designer jeans and a cheeky boyish grin. With Musk’s Space X almost ready to begin shooting tourists off into space, carry a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy to complete the look. Extra points if you arrive to your halloween party in a Tesla.
Polar bear image via Kerstin Langenberger / Facebook, Cecil the Lion image via Zimbabwe National Parks & Game Reserves, sea turtle image via SITRAMINAE