A southbound E train was suspended this morning due to an accident involving Google co-founder Sergey Brin. The incident began when an unidentified iPhone user stood up and called Brin a “glasshole” for wearing his Google Glass on the subway. According to the FDNY, another nearby passenger drinking a Pepsi found the insult so hilarious that he proceeded to spit the liquid all over Brin’s Glass, causing it to short-circuit.

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“It was just awful,” said Sara Nosey, 73, who was on the train car when the accident occurred. “The poor man was already missing one side of his glasses and then on top of that, this happens to him. After his glasses went on fire, the other guy tried to spit more soda on him to put the flames out, but it just made it worse.”

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Witnesses said they were really impressed when Brin was able to regain his composure, despite his face being on fire, and ask his Glass “how to put out a face fire.”

“He sure was lucky that this part of the E train has internet access,” said Officer Duncan Kronutski, who was one of the first to arrive at the scene. “He was able to put the fire out by stopping, dropping and rolling on his face after getting instructions from his weird goggles.”

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Brin was released from New York Downtown Hospital after being treated for minor burns. According to doctors and nurses, he seemed unfazed, but did mention that he would be Citi Biking for the remainder of his trip instead of taking the subway. “And someone should really look into banning soda in New York City,” he said.

Just kidding! April Fool’s everyone!