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When it comes to eco-fashion, you’ll find few advocates as zealous as we are—we’d rather build up than tear down. Still, we’ve had our retinas scorched by some pretty frightful sartorial statements waving the “sustainable” banner, so what better time than the spookiest holiday of the year to dish on the most spine-chilling eco-fashions to date? For your green Halloween pleasure, here are six howlers that will make your blood run cold.
Holy smokes! Chilean designer Alexandra Guerrero made a bold and wholly unconventional move when she blended wool with discarded cigarette butts to create a line of clothing. Cleaned, shredded, and spun into yarn, the erstwhile Marlboros were then hand-crocheted into a bolero, vest, poncho, and a kicky little hat that would be cute if it weren’t stained with nicotine.
JUST [email protected] IT
In Heather Mills’ defense, once you’ve crossed “marry a Beatle” off your Life List, it’s all downhill from there. But that still doesn’t excuse her from perpetuating the myth that eco-fashion is the domain of yurt-dwelling yahoos with more time on their hands than sense. Her widely panned collection, [email protected], made from recycled clothing, has been pummeled with epithets from “Frankenstein-inspired” to “laughably horrid.” Kapow!
The 100 percent recycled menswear in actress Julia Stiles’ sendup of celebrity fashion designers isn’t for sale—and thank God for that. We can’t decide which is more ghoulish: the newspaper suit with the tissue-box shoes and Swiffer tie (“A Guy’s Thing”) or the shirt that you can wear as pants (“Save the Last Shants”). We have four words for you, Julia: Keep. Your. Day. Job.
Another actress who shouldn’t shred her main meal ticket anytime soon is Pamela Anderson, who debuted her organic clothing collection at New Zealand Fashion Week in September. A collaboration with former Heatherette Richie Rich, A*Muse doesn’t shy away from gratuitous displays of bare flesh or offbeat stylistic choices like drop-crotch harem pants.
Most distressing, however, are the outfits Anderson decided to don herself, as she strutted down the runway, including a sheer white sheet that left nothing to the imagination and a gold lamé swimsuit that one reviewer called “Borat-inspired.”
Where’d you get those peepers? The LED eyelashes by Soomi Park are batty, to say the least. Designed to make your eyes look wider, these light-up ocular embellishments come equipped with inclination sensors that track movement, so you can flick the lashes on or off with a tilt of your head. Suddenly, “turn around Bright Eyes” takes on a whole different meaning.
BIG IN JAPAN
For lingerie that will give you a real charge between the sheets, look no further than Triumph Japan’s Taiyoko Hatsuden Bra, or “Solar Power Bra.” The concept cami-and-panty set, which was designed to promote eco-awareness and clean energy, features a built-in photovoltaic panel that can generate enough juice for a cell phone or iPod. Okay, we can work with that, but can someone explain the point of the electronic scoreboard and pair of drinking pouches nestled (strategically?) against the bustline?