If former Real Housewives of New York City star Cindy Barhop didn’t think she was in enough hot water, the spa owner now compares her fox-fur bikini treatment to a cure for cancer, according to The Cut. The semi-permanent procedure, which involves affixing neon-colored fur or feathers to one’s ladyparts, are only designed to last three days—more if you avoid washing your nethers (sexy!). “It’s like buying an extra set of lingerie or a fun shirt a different pair of glasses,” Barshop, who runs Completely Bare on Madison Ave., says. “This is that fun thing that gives you a little pick-me-up.”

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Barshop asks animal-rights supporters to “respect the right to wear fur down there,” but her detractors are having none of it. “It’s outright sleazy, and it’s downright cruel to kill an animal to decorate your privates,” Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, told The Huffington Post. “She seems to be making the point that fur is for c*nts.”

“She seems to be making the point that fur is for c*nts,” says PETA president Ingrid Newkirk.

Although Hollywood filmmakers use merkins to prevent actors from flashing their kibbles ‘n bits during nude scenes, the public wig dates back as far back as the 1450s, when prostitutes wore them to obscure signs of sexually transmitted diseases such as syphillis. Even Gawker, hardly a bastion of moral fortitude, dubs the furkin the “most trivial use for the fur industry in the history of humanity.”

But Barshop, who says her phones have been ringing off the hook, will not be swayed by the Negative Nellies. “It’s like I cured cancer,” she adds.

Somebody give this woman a Nobel Prize already.