Jealous of your neighbor’s beachfront vacation home but don’t want to shell out the big bucks to buy one of your own? Don’t worry — a company called WarmingWorks wants to help. This innovative startup is scouting locations around the world that will be affected by creeping climate change over the next few years. But WarmingWorks doesn’t want to help solve the climate crisis — it is buying up properties at dirt-cheap prices that will one day become coastal as global warming causes sea levels to rise.
That’s right — you can just laugh off anyone who brags about their home in St. Bart’s, because decades from now their property will be submerged while yours will be sitting pretty by the beach. The best part: buying a WarmingWorks property ensures that your kids and grandkids will have access to the beach house. Because wouldn’t it be sad if global warming took away your family’s assets?
“At this point, we don’t have too much confidence in the power of governments to stop sea level rises, ” explained WarmingWorks CEO Joe Fishman. “We’re not happy about it, but we’re still going to take advantage. There’s plenty of money to be made here.”
Interested in checking out some of WarmingWorks’ properties? Let us know in the comments.
+ April Fools!
EXCELLENT! I totally agree with Mr Fishman’s entrepreneurial spirit! This (I suspect) is a desperate plea for the world to take the situation seriously – and if they don’t? Then I hope to see Mr Fishman and his colleagues topping Mr Gates as the world’s richest people within a couple of decades! If the world is so dumb as to ‘carry on with business as usual’ then this would be the natural result of ‘a corporate world gone mad’. I hope you go bust Mr Fishman – but I suspect the opposite will actually happen!