Early this morning NASA kicked off Operation LENS, an ambitious plan to concentrate and collect solar power using a giant magnifying glass in outer space. Long speculated to be a rumor, the 7,000,000 ft. wide lens was fabricated over the course of the past 3 years and launched from Cape Canaveral, piggybacking on this thing that they were going to launch anyway (they figured they might as well kill 2 birds with one stone). While the first phase went exactly as planned, the plan hit a major snag when the magnifying glass began to work a bit too well and ended up scorching large regions in the western hemisphere. When asked to comment, premier magnifying lens science researcher Byron Scott said simply, “I told them so.“
In an even more bizarre turn of events, famed architect Frank Gehry’s Los Angeles residence was the only home spared from any type of scorching, but instead, acted as a sort of mirror – reflecting all that solar radiation back into space. In fact, the astronaut responsible for manning the craft carrying the magnifying glass, a local Alabama man named Forrest Gump claimed that he could actually see the Gehry home from outer space through the lens. “It looked really shiny,” he observed.
While NASA admits they jumped the gun with LENS, they are not giving up hope. They are planning to move their headquarters to the eastern hemisphere, to start a new project entitled FOIL, where they will launch a gargantuan piece of aluminum foil into space to achieve what the magnifying glass could not.
+ April Fools!